iCan’t Quit You, Apple
A Pro Mac-ifesto
More than one person has called me an “Apple Fan Boy,” which is supposed to be an insult, but is really just designed to goad me into reacting in a way that everyone would call “toxic.”
Instead, I’m here to unapologetically declare my ability to recognize superior craftsmanship and celebrate all that Apple has done for humanity.
For instance, I was standing in line at Trader Joe’s on the day after the AirPods Pro were released in October of last year. Two different people noticed them in my ears and asked me how I liked them. I was more than happy to take a few seconds to share my experience. I simply had to squeeze them into “Transparency Mode,” to turn off the noise cancelling. It was my way of letting these women know that what they were saying to me was important, without disrupting the Mac Power Users podcast I was in the middle of. You can’t put a price on that kind of recognition. If Apple had not had the courage to kill the 20th century headphone jack, I probably wouldn’t have even heard anyone speaking to me, although I doubt anyone would have been interested in learning about Jelly ear buds.
Apple became the world’s first trillion dollar company in 2018, which is even more impressive when you realize that only about 20% of the world’s population can afford any of its products. That said, I don’t blame Apple for selling a $30 pencil case, a $200 leather sleeve for the MacBook Pro, or a $999 computer stand for its Pro Display XDR. What else are you going to do with a $6000 computer — prop it up with cinder blocks? If pricey accessories are not the mark of quality goods, I don’t know what is.
Senator Elizabeth Warren wants to regulate or even break up Apple. That’s green bubble talk. If she really wanted to protect consumers, she’d pass a law requiring that municipalities install heating elements outside of Apple stores. Waiting in line after the October release events can get really cold.
If there’s one thing wrong with Apple’s ecosystem, which some have dubbed the “Walled Garden,” it’s that it’s not more closed. I was gifted a couple $3 non-Apple bands for my Apple Watch 5. Yes, that’s a bit cheaper that the ones Apple sells for $50, but do I trust these knock-offs not to fall off? I can’t say.
It’s true that Siri is not as “advanced” as the Google Assistant or Amazon’s Alexa. But Siri has made me smarter, by making me think about what I’m asking her and in many instances simply by making me look up the information or doing the task myself.
That same level of support is available to would-be artists. Garage Band, which seems to come pre-installed on every Apple product, has made it possible for an entire generation of no-talent pre-teens to make and release music on the web. And some of it is not terrible!
Please wait for a moment while I breathe in rhythm with my Apple Watch.
Some of you have been critical of certain choices Apple has made over the years, especially its reliance on the proprietary lightning port instead of USB-C for its latest iPhones. First, people complained about Apple moving to the lightning port, now they want Apple to ditch it in favor of the superior industry standard. When Apple does away with ports completely, they’ll probably be criticized for that, too. The fact that you can’t make up your mind is the reason why we need companies like Apple to do it for you.
It’s true that the curious disappearance of legacy ports from laptops has been a source of frustration for some Mac users, who have to either upgrade their accessories or purchase unsightly dongles that they then have to carry around with them. Some companies let you use your devices how you want, but Apple requires that you use them only the best way.
You can’t call it innovation if you’re just giving people what they want. In addition to jettisoning the headphone jack, the iPhone 7 had a home button that was not really a button. The iPhone X introduced Face ID, a feature no one knew they wanted, which required a notch that everyone hates. Still, Apple sold more phones than any company in Q4 of 2019. Now that’s true innovation!
Some of Apple’s apps might not be the most sophisticated or aesthetically pleasing, but you don’t need to constantly refresh your products, when you get the design right the first time. I’m glad that the Email, Calendar, and Contacts apps look and work exactly as they did on the original iPhone. Although they are perfectly integrated into iOS, you’re free to use others apps, as long as your default browser is Safari. Apple doesn’t take a 30% cut on just any app, like Google does in its PlayStore.
My preference for Apple is not because I’m unfamiliar with the non-Mac world. My first computer, a hand-me down in the late 90s, was a PC, and my family members are all still on Android, despite all of the iPhones I have given out at my Mac-themed birthday parties. The grass on other LCDs is only sometimes more green.
Even so, my ability to appreciate superior craftsmanship doesn’t mean that I always need the most up-to-date technology, which is why I recently purchased a used iPhone 8 on eBay to have as a back-up to the Pro 11 I use as my daily driver. The 8 still a great phone, especially in Product Red, and I was glad to get one since I originally skipped it in the sequence in favor of the iPhone X, which was released at the same time. Collecting old technology makes me nostalgic for simpler times, which is why I often find myself watching old unboxing videos on YouTube and scrolling through screenshots of my old home screens.
Some claim Edison, Franklin, or daVinci as our greatest inventor. But what have they done for us lately? Daylight savings time is not an invention. The iPhone can automatically detect a change in time zones! And what good was electricity before it had something as useful as the Mac Pro to power? Steve Jobs was not standing on the shoulders of giants, as much as he was making some of their better ideas relevant.
It’s true that Jobs had a reputation as being a bit prickly. But that’s only because he grew so tired of being surrounded by idiots who weren’t able to understand his vision. Jobs’ announcement of the original iPhone in 2007 ranks among the landmark moments in history. It gives me goose bumps every time I watch it. “Apple is going to reinvent the phone,” he said. And he was right, if by “reinvent” he meant “invent” and by “phone” he meant “life.”
One more thing before I stand up to complete my Activity Rings for the day: I want you to know that if Apple introduced a new product that I didn’t own, I’d like to think that I’m discerning enough to hesitate before buying it.
